In Our Mouths

Restaurant reviews from eaters of distinction.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004


VeNue: A SidewaLk.
TYPE OF food: Dog poppp!
Witness: ASHLey!@

Here it is: A little secne for you "goodChristians' to think about in your littlte church nexzt SUnday! Chew on this for a milion years and try to concretete on PREACHR Man telling you all ab out Jesus waiting and waiting and waitng and waitn for you, He lovesyou sooooomuch. DOGSHIT!

which is what Joe eats on this day. And Ashely is the wtiness. The dog took a ppoop and Joe said, well, won't who cares, my SAVior doesn't care for JOe's everlasting soul.

Wake up y ou Zombies by THE HOOETERS! HA HA HA!

Want the answer: www.joemcpuppet.blogspot.com Witness: Jeremy who prayd with me beforei died. ask him
posted by food  # 12:30 AM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

NAME OF ESTABLIDSHMENT: Some church somewhere
LOCATION: "Not" in Hell (?) You decide!@
TYPOE OOF CUISINE: Blood and flesh
HISTORY: THe history of the world has peopled with people trying to silence the voice of my genearatin!
WHAT HAPPENED: I went to Chruch for a joke! A big laughand they said blah and ablah and blah and somore blah blah and blah. THen they said kneel! I woulde not kne3el. "We have food for you" WHAT IS IT?! It is the blood of the lord and his Body! "Youare all a bunch of zombies!!!!" And they were and they ARE!!

posted by food  # 8:20 PM
Name of establishment: Manila Good Ha!
Type of cuisine (food): Filipino
Location: Los Angeles Mid-Wishire District (Sixth near Catalina)
Occasion: Lunch
History: Unknown
Décor: This place occupies a dirty little corner of a 1960's stripmall. Above the steamtables, there are faded color photocopies of dishes of food. None of the food is recognizable, though the yellow clouds may represent rice.
Experience: I had the grey meat in sauce and the cabbagey-thing. The grey meat resided in a savory grey sauce; not spicy yet heavily spiced, if you can hear what I'm saying. The cabbagey-thing was delicious, chewy, and almost sweet. The server had to send one of the cooks out from the kitchen to take my order, as my Tagalog skills are lacking. I ate quickly, because I normally eat pretty fast. I was dining alone as well, which makes for shorter restaurant experiences. I will certainly revisit Manila Good Ha! and try the orange-sauce fish-thing.
Mandatory Zombie Reference: The grey meat was human flesh. I hunger for more.

posted by food  # 12:23 PM
Mong-Kut Thai

Type of cuisine (food):
Location: Toronto
Occasion: Dinner with friend
History: Unknown
Décor: Humble tables surrounded by humble chairs, with the heads of flowers floating in bowls of water on each table, all under the careful supervision of a painting of the king of Thailand
Today's experience: My friend Lisa and I had exactly one hour in which to dine, and Mong-Kut seemed as good a place as any to do it, particularly since on this particular Monday night we would have the restaurant to ourselves. We seated ourselves by the window as our server, a young Asian girl with short hair and a nervous smile, brought us menus and glasses of water. Lisa and I chatted as we glanced idly at our menus, and the minutes flew by without our noticing. Soon enough, our server had returned. She refilled our glasses, pulled out a notepad and asked if we were ready to order. We apologized and asked if we could have another moment, please. Our server stared at us blankly for several moments, while letting out a low, deep gurgling noise, before heading back to the kitchen. Exchanging amused glances, Lisa and I now flipped through our menus again. I skimmed briefly and settled upon the first thing I recognized, the pad thai, but Lisa continued to peruse the menu at length, frequently emitting little sighs (Lisa is currently breastfeeding her son, Jackie, and tries to avoid eating anything with nuts or dairy in it for his sake, so she was finding it harder to choose). Before long, our server had returned, and was holding up her notepad expectantly. Lisa very humbly asked if she could have just one more minute, at which point our server’s jaw dropped open, further than seemed right, and a deep brownish-black ooze poured out of her mouth onto our table. I raised an eyebrow at Lisa, who just kind of shrugged with her face. Fortunately, after a moment or two, our server finished up and headed back to the kitchen. At this point Lisa leaned over the table, careful to avoid the foul-smelling ooze, and mentioned that she was having trouble finding anything on the menu that didn’t contain brains. I opened my menu and read it more carefully and, indeed, it seemed that every item on the menu contained human brains. “My god,” I whispered. “I think this is actually a restaurant for the unholiest of the unholy undead — zombies.”
So what happened?: We overcame our prejudices and tried something different, and found it surprisingly good. We’ll be back.

posted by food  # 8:20 AM

Sunday, January 04, 2004


Type of cuisine (food): Greek
Location: Claremont
Occasion: Lunch with wife
Known restaurant history: Yianni's has been at the core of the downtown Claremont eating scene for at least a few decades. They used to be known for their excellent saganaki (fried Kasseri cheese) and avgolemono (Greek lemon soup). For the last five years or so, Yianni's has actively sucked (it might even be ten years now that they have sucked). Most of my friends avoid going there and I have heard tales from coworkers who said they have gotten ill after eating there.
Restaurant decor: Tired furnishings and plastic fruits. 70's ambiance with forced Greek motif. Frantic Greek music playing just loud enough to always be noticed.
So why go there?: Wife sick, so we sought soup.
Today's experience: As we entered the restaurant, one of the owners noticed us and retreated into the back. A tall, thin male of undetermined age in a white apron escorted us to our table. He handed us menus and took our drink order. We both ordered coffee. He tried pouring water into the glasses on our table (using one of those clear plastic pitchers) and spilled quite a bit (he does not know the time-honored method of pouring the ice-water out the side of the pitcher). He was sporting a shaved head and active acne. When he went back to prepare our coffee, my wife asked if I noticed how much the guy was sweating. I had not noticed, as I had been too busy watching the spilly-water show. I looked back at the bar in the back of the restaurant and could see what my wife was talking about: This guy was perspiring big-time. He also appeared to be making two cups of instant coffee! The owner of the restaurant was visible chatting with a friend in the background behind the bar. I heard him scold our waiter...something about getting our order. Mr. Sweaty brought our coffee, set it on the table, and took our order. He appeared distracted and had competing sweat droplets fighting gravity from both the tip of his nose and his chin. When he left, we noticed that the coffee was lukewarm. I watched as my wife scraped some instant coffee granules from the side of her cup. There were only two other tables with customers. It was at that point when I noticed that the customers were not people, but dining corpses. Two tables over from us, a group of three undead sat eating their lunch in slow motion. They had no noticable affectations; they were simply going through the mechanics of eating (zombies are clever and try to appear "normal" to humans). A lone zombie sat at a table in the far corner, in the dark. This zombie was a male who would be about 50 if he still had vital signs. He was not eating or drinking. He was just sitting...oh--he was wearing oversized sunglasses and had long graying hair.
So what happened?: We decided to leave. I went up to Mr. Sweaty and threw two dollars and about 9 quarters on the bar. I told him that my wife and I did not feel good and were leaving...to cancel our order. I also said we were sorry. He looked up and from deep within him a noise came out. Though his lips didn't move, I heard "Is there a problem?" Sweat was nearly spraying out of his face--I had figured it out! This guy seemed to be coked to the gills. We promptly left Yianni's, vowing never to return. The coke-fiends and corpses can drink all the tepid instant coffee they want.
posted by food  # 8:46 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Napa Rose at Disney's California Adventure

Went to dinner with the some work people to Napa Rose at the Disney Grand Californian Hotel. The Grand Californian Hotel is terrible. It's going for the California Craftsman look, but it's all wrong. It's too big and open. I know that it's Disney and has to be larger than life, but that's not what the Arts and Crafts movement was about. It was about simplicity. You could order a house from the Sears catalog. How's that for simple. Anyway, it probably doesn't even matter. Most of the guests won't ever see a real Craftsman house. The restaurant was okay. I was not too satisfied with the menu and was hoping that there were some specials. Well, the waiter came over and told us about the menu and specifically said that there were no specials because zombies had taken over the kitchen. Too bad. I ordered the seared Ahi tuna. It was good. Coffee was average. For dessert I had Raspberry soup with Coconut "Ice". I was expecting a bowl of raspberry something with coconut shavings. What I got was melted raspberry sorbet and cubes of coconut ice somethings. I should have gotten the three scoops of sorbet instead. I really should have gotten nothing, $9 for melted sorbet or three scoops of sorbet is ridiculous. Also, the menu was poorly typset. They used inch marks instead of proper quotation marks many times.
posted by food  # 7:56 PM

Friday, November 07, 2003

Giamela's Submarine Sandwiches on Los Feliz Blvd.

This is a great restaurant. The pizza was delicious and the price was low, too low to print.

We were supposed to go to Real Food Daily, but I got stuck at work until late. I was helping somebody learn how to use some software (that I had never heard of) over the phone. I succeeded in that task, by the way, thank you very much. Anyway, Kristi was hungry. I was hungry. My lunch of half a soggy Blimpies sandwich was a bad move, but it was a free left-over from an office meeting so why am I complaining? Oh yeah, because it was terrible. I was lucky enough to be working the rest of the day away from my desk. Otherwise, I would have eaten the other half. I happily threw the remains away as I walked out of the building. Free at last! Daniel suggested Giamela's. He'd seen it advertised on a bus bench. I'm always up for a new place, and if it's advertised on a bus bench and in Atwater Village and sells pizza, that's even better. It's a small restaurant, Kristi noticed that the sign out front is almost as big as the restaurant itself. There was some tension in the ordering. My self-imposed dairy ban was to blame. We ended up getting a 16" pizza pie with pepperoni, mushrooms and half no cheese. I suggested 1/3 no cheese, but Daniel said that he'd have one of the cheeseless slices, that was nice. Since the pizza was going to take 20 minutes, we also got garlic bread with some meat sauce for dipping. The bowl of meat sauce was huge. More than enough for the garlic bread. We kept it to dip pizza crust in. That sounded like a good idea, but for some reason it didn't taste as good as it sounded. The pizza arrived and I think that they put extra pepperoni on the no cheese side, cool. Speaking of cool, it was cold that night and the zombies (who have no idea what the temperature is) that kept coming into the restaurant weren't shutting the door all the way. Kristi and I took turns getting up to close it. It was kind of tricky to close, you had to lift it a little.

After Giamela's, off to The Roost for drinks with Mark, Shannon, Lisa, Tall Chris, Damon and his girlfriend. Too bad this isn't a bar review blog. If it was, I'd give The Roost a good review. The drinks are strong, prices are low, atmosphere is nice and divey (like the old Hi-Brow Lounge) and it's empty until the Bigfoot Lodge gets too full. Did I mention the free popcorn? Nope. Well, there is free popcorn.
posted by food  # 7:23 PM

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Sushi Delight in Upland

After going to Costco to stock the Clubhouse Tiki Bar for the party on Saturday, Tall Chris and I went to Sushi Delight. We'd never been there before and thought we should try it out. They closed at 9pm and we got there at 8:30pm. It looked like we were the only people in the place. There were loads of zombies, but they weren't at the sushi bar, so we sat at the sushi bar. A guy told us that the sushi making guy was in the bathroom. Not a good sign, but we got free edamame for waiting, so that was nice. The sushi was good. We got a rainbow roll, spicy tuna roll, sake (salmon) and a california roll. The california roll tasted funny to me. The sushi chef made me feel awkward. He was just standing by us while we were eating. Now that I think about it, he was probably a zombie. I should have realized that he wasn't human when he was coughing up dust while making our food. Yuck. While he was putting the fish away for the night, he was nice and gave us a lot of salmon and red snapper on the house. We got the bill. It was $30. I was confused as to how to tip. Since I was with Tall Chris, he was no help with tipping advice. There was a tip plate on the sushi bar, so I gave the whole tip to the sushi chef. We probably should have left some on the table for the lady that brought us soup and beer. Hopefully the chef shares his tips. I grabbed the receipt for further study. It turns out that we were not charged for the miso soup and one order of sushi. Most likely it was an oversight by the zombie sushi chef, or maybe they were just being nice to new customers. To wrap it up, I think it would have been more fun with more people at the restaurant. We might go there again, but Chris and I agreed that Nogi Sushi in Claremont is better.
posted by food  # 7:45 PM


11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003   01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004  

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